It's a new school year. The air should be filled with hope and promise of new things yet to accomplish. I should be looking forward to all of the young minds that I'm going to open this year.
Depression creeps into my mind everytime I think about my teaching abilities, my goals, the school culture that I teach in, and what I'm accomplishing. I suppose it's no different for the students that I teach.
Some days I'm just overwhelmed with how little I can accomplish. Between a lack of supplies, confusion over what's going on, being told one thing and having to do another, intimidation from the administration to scare the teachers into line, lack of respect from students, and unrealistic goals for the students from the administration... I don't know.
I think I'm getting burned out. Actually, I think I'm about toast. I don't look forward to going to work anymore. I don't really like my day. I need to fix that or I'm going not be here next year.
On the other hand... 2 years in an inner city school is an accomplishment. However, I look at it in terms of what I've done to help my students... and academically I don't know if it's much. I helped them feel better about themselves but that's not technically a teacher's job.
I feel useless.