Monday, April 19, 2010

Monday of my Last Week

Monday of Last Week:

The treatment for my disease is wearing off. I can feel my body getting sicker more often now than when I was on the shots that were supposed to suppress my disease until surgery. For this reason, I'm glad that I'm going into surgery next week.

I was starting to wonder if I really needed the surgery since I hadn't felt sick in so long. I was wondering if it was all in my mind. I know that there were days last semester where I couldn't physically walk around the room and my students told me I "walked like an old woman." I recall that but it's so long ago that I felt like it must have been a bad dream. Now, I remember a bit. It's going to get painful. Even on good days, it feels like all of my various tissue and organs inside my abdomen are connected in ways that they shouldn't be and are pulling on each other in vaguely uncomfortable ways.

Tuesday of next week at 3pm is the surgery. I'll be in the hospital for a few days, and then home to recupperate.

I hope that nothing goes wrong with me getting my FMLA leave. I hope and hope and hope. I have my fingers crossed that the "Powers that Be" downtown won't misplace my paperwork or run into any other kinks.

On top of writing my masters thesis, writing my defense, finishing my coursework for my last masters class (including all assignments and final projects), getting married, organizing FMLA leave, doctors visits, lesson planning, and parent teacher conferences - I think I have gone passes stressed into a rare world called "apathy." I don't know if I can feel nervous anymore. I just want all of this to be over with.

And on top of everything, I'm still scrambling to get my students time in the computer lab so they can have some time to finish their projects.

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