I'm the worst teacher - ever...

Apparently, I'm a horrible teacher.

I need to focus on getting my classroom quiet. It is so loud in my room that one of my students who has migraines is not able to come into my room. This student that I just mentioned just came up to me and told me that she will not be attending class anymore because it is too loud in here for her to function.

This needs to stop. I cannot allow this to persist.

Problems in my class:
1) students do not bring their materials
2) students cannot hear me
3) students interrupt me while I'm teaching
4) students don't know what's going on in class
5) my students think they run the show and are equal to me

Where did these things come from? Apparently, I've allowed the *children* in my room to think that their edcucation is up to them and that they can make the rules for their world. That is not the case. If there's one important lesson I hope they learn from education it is this: Life is a game and you don't make the rules... you play by someone else's rules and if you don't follow them then you don't get what you want. That was what my mother told me when I was a young person and it always stayed in my mind as something that is truful.

I'm the adult in the room. I'm paid to make sure that these kids get educated. If there's a problem in the room, it's not because of my students but because I'm not being a good classroom manager.

And I am exhausted.

Ugh (or... I'm trying to see the silver lining and failing)

Today's update is all about the sophmore slumps - which I'm apparently right in the middle of. What are the sophmore slumps, you might say? Well, after one year of doing something I thought I had been making progress but apparently I have not. I'm past the little gains and I'm into the minutae of teaching and how difficult it can be to make big gains.

And I'm running out of energy. My health isn't any worse but the continual effort that I need to provide in order to keep up with 40 freshman in my room 5 times a day is daunting. I've been maintaining myself with just getting by. Unfortunately, that's not good enough. Not only do I need to be here giving lessons every day to help the kids learn what's on the benchmarks but I also need to step it up and get the classroom under control, help my class to run smoothly, and control these kids. Basically, I need to control these kids.

And I'm so tired. In fact, I'm getting exhausted. I don't know how long I'm going to be able to keep this up. I love teaching but I keep turning back in my mind to the fact that I seemed to have more control of my students last year than I do this year and I don't know why.

The only major difference between last year and this year is the classroom composition, the subject, the stars, and my demeanor when teaching. I think that the class being made up of freshman isn't a big change. Most of my kids last year, regardless of age or class standing, were squirrel-ly and a little nuts. I just was able to control them better - which I was finally able to do through the seating chart. I need to control the seating chart in order to control the students. However, the students in my class this year have claimed that they are not able to bring their books because they are "too heavy" or too far away. I think that I'm going to have to do something about that. Another teacher in my building uses the tired and true method of having the kids write "I will remember my materials" 25 times. That will motivate the students to do what is asked of them. I need to think of a positive reward for students that bring their books all the time. That would be effective.

There are other differences this year. For one, I don't like my students as well. I really enjoyed getting to know my students last year and the rapport that I developed with them might have had something to do with the fact that they respected me as much as they did. Unfortunately, they saw me as "one of the kids" and didn't really think I was an adult. I decided this year to take the road of "adult" and I dress and act more professional than I'm inclined to be. This might have been a mistake on my part. I need to figure out what my style is for teaching and stick to it. Actually, I just need to figure out what works.

Also... different from last year is the fact that I'm not doing positive reinforcement visually. That might have everything in the world to do with my students are acting so horribly. Ugh.

Procedures I am (or... "Thank you Mr. Harry Wong")

Goal of the Week

Map out the next month of classes and come up with some activities for each idea. I want to have the whole next unit planned in advance. I will do this AT SCHOOL and not at HOME!

Thought of the Day

After some wonderful words of wisdom from another educator, I have decided that I've been attempting to do to much outside of school and it's killing me. I need to have fun in my classes and not be so focused all the time on being perfect. I *will* concentrate on the positive. Here it goes...

I've been making excellent progress with the procedures. After reading some out of "The First Days of School" by Harry Wong, I've decided that this needs, first and foremost, to be the center of my teaching. At the start of every year the kids need to know how things work.

This is the same for a job. When I first went to work as a professional researcher I had to spend 2 days reviewing the procedures of the lab. It was some of the most boring time of my life but it did let me know exactly what they wanted to me to do in the execution of my duties. I was "FOREWARNED." That is exactly what my students need.

Rather than facing each and every new situation as it comes up and the inevitable backlash of student confusion and hatred as they get a consequence that they didn't expect, then I need to let them know in advance what matters to me, how I do things, and how each and every part of the classroom works. That way, they can be informed of how things go.

I actually made a powerpoint presentation over my procedures (of course, this is one month into school) but after that it seems to have been helping. My students seem a lot calmer and they try to pull things less on me. Not every student is a little angel, but things are better.

Now, I just need to figure out what ALL of my procedures are. Ugh.

Managable Goals (or... "Stop the burnout.")

-This post brought to you by a really bad day-

Everyone expects teachers to always be positive, upbeat, and helpful to all of the children that come into their lives.

Remember back when teaching was about conveying learning to pupils? I sure don't. Teachers these days are expected to be surrogate parents, nurses, and therapists for all of their students. I went into this profession because I wanted to do something that mattered. As it turns out, doing something that matters takes a lot of snuff.

I feel like a misreable git most days because I can't seem to keep up with the demands in my life.

So, in light of the last post: here are my goals... for good or ill.

1. Do not take work home with me
2. Plan in advance (lesson planning)
   
3. Set reasonable classroom goals, and to hell with the district on this one... I can't teach everything they want me to teach
   
4. Do not stay more than 1 hour after school each day... no matter what
5. Remember that this is a JOB - granted one that I like - and that my MAIN GOAL is the health and well being of my family
   
6. If all else fails - see goal #5 and learn to live with what needs to be done to make my family healthy and safe
7. Have fun... with learning and getting to know the kids
   

Those are my new and improved reasonable goals. Let's see how this works.

Priorities... revaluated

I absolutely did not take my own advice. I have dropped more weight and my clothes are starting to get way too loose. Even my students have started to comment that I'm too skinny.

I just can't seem to find enough time in the day to get things done.

In fact, the act of getting up and going in for work has become painful. I don't enjoy teaching like I did last year. I've started to seriously consider the option of going back to work in research.

Why, might you ask? Because when I was a researcher I pulled the same hours but I didn't take it home with me. I suppose I should remember back to my time in the lab and realize that I was horribly miserable. I hated it. There was too much stress and everyone expected you to be perfect all the time. I was bored with the monotony and everyone there was not interesting. People were just flying by all around me and they didn't have anything going on in their lives that seemed worth a damn other than their families. That, and they didn't really have a sense of humor. I missed the crazy fun that I had in college and grad school.

That crazy fun was what drew me to teaching in the first place. I suppose that I need to focus on that and remember that I wanted crazy. I wanted to fine the Zen in the middle of an insane place. When I first started teaching I told my students that I needed a crazy life in order to be happy. I've been trying to do what each person who calls themself my boss says a teacher *needs* to be or do. I need to keep control. I need to make the immature kids that walk through my door into well-read, well-spoken, knowledgable little ladies and gentleman with manners and an understanding of how the world works so they can go out and thrive. Yeah, that ain't happening.

The kids that walk through my door are good kids. They haven't always had a great educational experience but that isn't my or their faults. I do need to teach them some basic skills but by trying to handle everything at once I will fail them. I can't do everything that the district and my professors at Grad School tell me I need to do. Why? Because it's too much, as the kids would say.

I need to set ATTAINABLE goals and try to meet them. Why? Because it's more fair on the kids? Why? Because I'm not a superhero. Why? Because I don't want to burn out. I love working with kids and helping them along but I'm new at this and I have to allow for mistakes. I'm still learning.

Why? Because when you set the bar too high, you only set yourself up to fail.

I know I'm a good teacher. I am a good teacher because I love each and every one of my students - no matter how ill behaved and unmanageable - and I can make changes in their lives by believing in them. And I do believe in each and every one of them to set manageable goals for themselves and meet them if they have the right motivation and positive feedback. I can help them with that because my students often have never had someone believe in them in their lives. I believe in them. I have to believe in myself and the fact that I'm smart enough to beat the system.

The system is broken. I can and will have to find a way around it for the sake of all the 180 little souls that are in my care for an hour a day each day. All of them are different, fun, interesting people. I need to remember that they are what comes first and not the district. I have to do what is best for them.

Repeat after me: the students are the focus, the students are the focus, the students are the focus.

When will it get better?

I gave a test out last week.

I still have students that have not made it up yet. They don't seem to know or care that a test has occurred in their class.

I suppose one way to get around this in the future is post when tests will be held much prior to when I have been telling the students about them.

I also need to think about MIDTERMS. Originally, I had wanted my students to do a project but it seems like most of them will not be involved enough in class to really get it done. Most of my kids (1 in 5) bring a book so for any bookwork they just sit there and say "can't do it - don't have the book."

I think that posting a schedule will help.

Also... sleep. I really need to get some sleep. I've been waking up at 2am for the past few days and it's making me sick. I can't teach with no sleep and I don't know how I did it all last year. Oh wait... I got sick a lot and missed 9 days of school. Grad school + first year teacher + not knowing what I teach (I taught Earth Space when I have degrees in Biology and have never taken an Earth Space Science class in my life) = no sleep for me.

Goal: Eat better and sleep. I'm dropping weight again. When will this get better?

Concentrate on the positive

What should I talk about today?

I was told by my Grad School Advisor (the new one) that I need to concentrate on positive points I can change. It's hard for my to stay positive these days. I just look at my ill-equipped classes in the Room From Hell. Or I look at the broken copier - one of two in the building - that has been out for 4 days. Or I see another standardized test where my students are removed from the room on the schedule and I found out about it 3 days prior. Or I look at the benchmarks coming up where I have to teach the students insane amounts of materials... and if they don't make the grade then my job is threatened.

I can't see the positive. My students just got the book. Most of them don't bring theirs to class. Most of them have almost no background in science. I'm supposed to teach them when most of my students have issues understanding what an atom is - and I get to teach them about hydrogen bonding between proteins. I have to teach them genetics and they don't understand what a cell is. Most of them make it a point to say that they "don't care" and will not nor will they ever do this thing called studying. The district tells me that I can't assign so many F's but the kids have to pass the benchmark.

I'm surrounded by impossible demands.

I don't know how other teachers handle all of this.

What's worse... it's hard for me to see the positive side of teaching at all right now. I don't like teaching and I'm not having fun. When does this get better?

Sorry for the depressing post, but it's how I feel right now. Sure, I'll focus on the positives. I have a job. That's a positive. I like most of my students. That's a positive. I want so much better for them. That's a positive.

That's all.

Class size and my personal war with the district (or ”you can handle 30 so try 40“)

Things are starting to get a little better with the class sizes, but this is still my personal problem in life in that it's very difficult for me to be heard over 45 freshman. The one class is still insanely huge and I don't know what to do about it. I've been told by “on high” that my classroom numbers are exactly where they need to be for me to keep my job.

Granted, I do not have that many students in all of my classes – but jeeze oh Pete's – even 35 freshman is a lot to handle. This is especially true of my last period class that has the mentality of jumping beans. They literally run around the room when my back is turned to go and talk to their friends. When they see me start to turn back, they drop to the ground and try to crawl to their seats behind my desks.

It's amazing what kids are doing these days in class. I suppose I need to read “First Days of School” and work on my procedures a lot.

My students make me laugh so much (or ”the day a student told me I needed a bigger butt“)

How I do love it when I get good jokes in my classroom. This was the gem from today.

Me, walking around and lecturing: Blah blah blah blah blah.
Student (not raising hand): Ms. D., you're too skinny.
Me: You think so? I get told that all the time by my family.
Student: Yeah, you need to eat more and get some weight on you.
Me: I'll get right on that.
Student (making hand gestures that look like squeezing two large grapefruits: Yeah, you need to get some... you know... curves... especially in the booty.
Me: (long pause) A-, did you just tell me to get a bigger butt?
Student: (Turning bright red as he realized what he'd just done) Uuuuhhhhhhhhhhhh...
Whole class: ERUPTING LAUGHTER

Test re-test test test test (or ”I secretly hope for my district’s destruction“)

A lot of school districts have this deal going where they have the kids take a test that "qualififes" them to graduate. My district is an example of this. We give the kids a test in the 10th grade that covers math and english skills they should have mastered to this point. If they don't pass it then *theoretically* they don't graduate. I was sent to babysit the kids that have passed this test and don't have to retake it since we are in the middle of "re-take week." This is the magical fun place where juniors and seniors that have not passed the test get pulled out of class during the morning to retake the test. Of course, it they don't pass this test by the end of their senior year they still graduate... so blah.

There I sat in an auditorium with 29 students. The classroom across the hall from me that had kids retaking the test had easily 40 or more students in there. That was one room in one building. There are at least 4 other rooms the same size having testing today.

I'll repeat that because it makes me ill: 29 students in their junior and senior years passed 9th grade english and math.

Remember when you actually needed to gain skills to be passed up in the educational system. Yeah, it's like that only the opposite.

Why does my district LIE (or ”newspaper says our district has 20 students per classroom and I don’t find that funny“)

I came across an article that rated the schools in my city. What I found inside said article (which pulled it's info from the Department of Education) was quite alarming.

Apparently, the official stats for my district say that we have 20 students to every teacher. This is called classroom size and there are many, many, many studies out there that have all found the same thing - smaller is better. The optimal classroom size is between 23 and 27, I think. Well, I've heard tell of this mystical thing called a state law that requires that students in a lab class have no more than 28 students. This is a safety issue because I do not want to be the one legally responsible for all of my students wielding scapels while I try to control them at 54 students.

My current numbers are at something like 170 in 5 classes. For your viewing pleasure - I give you my class sizes:
Period 1 - 25 souls
Period 2 - 33 souls
Period 3 - 42 souls
Period 4 - 33 souls
Period 5 - 34 souls

Now, this wouldn't be so bad if I didn't have "THE ROOM FROM HELL." Alternatively, I've taken to calling it one of the following (and on bad days, all at once in one long stretch) "The room that time forgot," "science room circa 1954," or "land of mismatched stools." I have a room filled with those old-fashioned black benches that have broken faucets and gas outlets and a sea of stools that all look like they've been through world war 7. My students regularly spend 5 minutes of the start of class fighting over the stools and who gets the really sucky ones.

To a teacher, the ability to control the seating in the room is the key to maintaining order. I'm working with a room that takes the ability away from me.

For the first month of school I didn't have enough stools in the room to accommodate the amount of students that I had in there. I had 45 on the books for the one middle class and only 41 stools. I actually took the one stool that was behind the teacher's desk and used it because there was no other choice. I never sit down now.

I was told to "put in a form" to request more chairs the first day. Now, a month into school I finally have enough chairs because I started stealing them. I literally went around the building and snuck into rooms (yes - humming the mission impossible theme in my head) to ransack them for chairs. Yes, I'm probably causing a lot of problems for other teachers but I need the chairs.

I think I have fantasies about buying matching stools for the room so the kids stop fighting and I have enough spots for the butts sent my way. Ugh.

The perfect lesson plan template (or ”what’s my major malfunction with lesson planning?“)

I went through this last year and apparently I learned nothing from my exploits. I HATE lesson planning with a firery passion. I hate it with the intensity of 10,000 suns. I think it's an insult to my intelligence and at the same time I have no idea what I'm doing. I think that I'm an idiot for not understanding it despite having met with 3 different academic advisers at my graduate school to help me to understand it. What is the problem here, brain? This is just a recipe for a class learning period, right?

This can't possibly be this hard?

Actually, it is. It most certainly is when I have to change what I do 5 times over the course of the day depending on how my students handle it. It most certainly is when I'm still having trouble coming up with content because my students are partially illiterate, some have no books, I have no access to computers, I had no access to a blackboard or dry erase boards for the first 3 weeks of school, and the copiers are almost always broken. I'm starting to hate my job because I can't think of anything fun for the kids to do with the lessons other than take notes - and they really hate that. It's also a problem because many of them come to class without a writing utensil or paper and they get angry at me for "making them get paper" all the time.

I'd really like to be able to do something interesting in my class but it helps when my classroom doesn't make me want to slit my wrists.

Today is a bad day. Here's to hoping tomorrow is better.

I’m running out of energy or enthusiasm (or ”too many painkillers in one week“)

I'm probably breaking some sort of law with how many presciption painkillers I've been taking to keep myself upright during teaching. Some days I just want to stare at my students because they keep coming saying "I have such a hard life - I don't want to learn today - I hate school - I'm tired because I was up until 3am texting/myspacing/videogames."

You know what? I was up at 2 am because I have a burning pain in my abdomen that won't stop and keeps getting worse. I'm going to have to have my belly cut open for the second time this year and it takes me a month to get up and moving again whenever they do it. I'm constantly up too late trying to come up with fun ideas to make my students learn and working on my stuff for graduate school. I'm dropping weight because I'm always running around class trying to help each of my students out.

I want to hear no more comments about how hard life is out of any of my students. Perhaps I'm turing bitter, but they need to zip it around me.

I don't know about their lives and how hard they are but my life is no picnic right now. My body is falling apart and I'm just trying to keep on top of things and still lead my normal life of teaching. Of course, if I'm taking pain killers all the time then I start to hate my job and I think to myself "what am I doing here... these kids need someone who believes in them and NOT another bitter person." I joined this cause to help my students learn and succeed. I can't do that if I become another one of those horrible teachers that outwardly hate them.

I hate this. I want all the pain to stop. I need to be here for the kids and not turn caustic.

This just in - exercise in class to get attention spans up (or ”I got frustrated and started teaching them yoga and it actually worked!“)

During yet another day of notes where my students send vibes of pure hatred my way for daring to make them write, I could tell I was starting to lose the attention of the vast majority of them.

This is something that drives me nuts during most of my classes - my students talk the entire time that I'm trying to teach. They don't just talk. Some of them even shout across the class or get up to walk around and carry on a conversation. It's something that I need to break them of right quick or I'm going to bring in a squirt gun and some silly string to get it to stop.

Anyway - to get my students back on task I sat on the corner of one of the sides of my room and put my legs up into the lotus position while I lectured. It took them about 30 seconds to realize that my legs were all "bendy." I asked them how many of them could do that with their legs and we took about 5 minutes out of my class to do some basic yoga poses. I just wanted to get their blood up and running around before they all revolted and killed me.

I'll be a monkey's uncle - it worked. When they went back to writing their notes they were all sitting writing away with fresh vigor. Apparently a break now and then is justified.

I remember last year not sucking (or ”when did I start to suck?“)

Either I keep fantasizing about how well I did last year or how well behaved my classes were or I have massively begun to suck as a teacher. I seem to rememeber that last year I was able to talk and the students would settle down and start listening. I also remember that when I did the “clap once if you can hear me, clap 3 times if you can hear me” trick that the students would settle down. Now, I have to keep doing that trick upwards of 5 times and then it starts to lose it's efficacy in the classroom as the students ignore me and just go on talking.

I need to start throwing some of them out in order to keep the peace. I should just send them to the hallway for the rest of the period if I have to ask them repeatedly to be quiet. It will be massively bad the first few days but after that point it will work.

When did I become so cruel?

My list of things I cannot change (or ”brought to you by an insanely bad day“)

Things I cannot change...

1. The ability levels of my students. Yes, some are functionally illiterate. Yes, some do not speak English. Yes, some are homeless and have never been pushed in school or have not been there most of the time. Yes, most don't have 2 parents at home telling them to do their homework (this really does help). I can't fix that. I must work with what I'm given.
2. My administration... because they suck. Yes, they are always looking for a quick fix and never really pay attention to what needs to be done to help the students. Yes, they want only 20% of my class to fail... even if 25% don't show up. Yes, I've been told to raise my grades despite the fact that my students can't pass the end of year assessments for my subject. Yes, see before mentioned "thing I cannot change."
   
3. The general inability of my school to have supplies or working equipment. 'Nuff said.
   
4. My health. It sucks right now. I'm always tired and grumpy or in pain and on drugs.
5. My students' general dissatisfaction with the fact that learning is work and not always fun and games like they've been led to believe.
   

Things I can change...

1. The attitude of my students toward school insomuch that it can be positive and kind.
2. My professional approach to problems that will always end up with me feeling like I haven't lowered myself to the level of those around me (I will remember that I'm an adult).
   
3. My students' appreciation of science and biology.
4. My students sense of academic self worth (that maybe they *can* do this).
5. My students' hope for the future and in themselves.
   

Thoughts about leaving my inner city district (or ”wracked by guilt and shame“)

I think I may be done with teaching in IPS.

The kids are great (thought they need a lot of help), the lower administration usually is out to help the kids and the teachers, and there is definitely a need of good, experienced, and fair teachers in this area. However, the upper administration makes teaching so difficult that it's almost not worth the fight.

Examples of ways that my life is a living hell of bureaucracy:

1. I have a classroom monitor from downtown sent in to examine if I have the correct amount of posters and that they are all up to date - also... a whole meeting where an hour of my life was spent chastising the teachers for the incorrect use of take (type and style) on said posters. That's just inane.
2. Having to do ATTENDANCE twice each day for each class and emailing the list of students who I have never seen. Um... there's no way to do this other than creating an excel spreadsheet and copying the attendance online to it each day. There goes a half hour of my day.
   
3. I'm not not only supposed to monitor the hallway each and every passing period (I, apparently, don't get to pee all day) but I now have to - during class - poke my head out and make sure the bathrooms don't have students doing graffiti.
   
4. I'm being professional observed to see if I'm monitoring which students are in dress code and which are not. I get in trouble if any student has the following: sagging pants, any electronic device (iPod, cell phone, portable gaming system), hooded sweat shirts, sweat shirts, non-dress code colors, and head coverings. I get in trouble should any students be in these things.
   

Now, the meetings that I have with my Academic Dean each day aren't bad. However, nothing really gets accomplished there other than him updating us on what's happening on the world of our school. That usually translates to personal development where people are brought in to show us slideshows and then one month later we have to provide a list of professional goals. Now, if I did that to my students nothing would get done. You need to remind people of deadlines - especially when they have a lot going on in their lives like many teachers do.

It's not like we aren't spending all of our time grading, creating lessons, tutoring students, doing attendance, and all of that.

Of course. We just sit on our butts during class and do nothing. Whee.

The nice teacher next to me (or ”Praise the Lord - one who doesn’t make me want to stab myself in the eye“)

I had another headache today – though it wasn't a true migraine but rather just a bad headache. The nice gentleman that teaches architecture next to me was walking in the hall and looked intoo my room. He's adopted the habit of looking into my class to make sure that I'm OK during and that the students haven't eaten me yet.

He saw me on the floor because I was exhausted. I was leaning against the wall in a little ball because my head hurt and I had 3 more periods to teach yet. It was exhausting. He kindly poked his head in and checked on me. It was nice of him to do so.

He's one of the few teachers in the building that doesn't make me want to stab myself in the eye when they talk. Teachers are some of the most bitter people that I've ever had the misfortune to meet in my life.

In communicato (or "schools are supposed to informt he teachers' of what's up!")

Today was an extremely irritating day in my teaching life. There’s a huge football game downtown in the venue where our Superbowl winning team plays. Apparently, our football team from the School of Legion are playing there tonight. Now, I’m all for fun and games to get the students excited about school spirit but it’s just odd. Apparently, all of the students that are leaving for the game are going during last period. Also, the teachers have supposedly been told that they need to not give the students any homework over the weekend. However, I was not informed about this in advance so I gave the students a quiz that day. I am so frustrated with the communication issues that I constantly see in schools. If a business were to function thsi way then it’d go under. I guess that’s why our public schools are in peril.

Also, I’d like to know who the person in charge was to decided that our students should leave school during the day to attend something not academic. This is a total waste of our students time and for students that are so close to not meeting the academic standards of a high school diploma then that’s really an issue.

For those teachers like me that didn’t get the memo that we weren’t supposed to assign homework then the students are in trouble. The buses that leave to attend the game will not permit the students on them to have backpacks or anything else larger than a handbag. All backpacks and books must be left in lockers. The buses will not be coming back to the school, either. The students have to leave their things in their lockers until Monday morning. It is not very good for students to not only loose class time but have to leave their things on campus for two days. The buildings will be locked and the students will not be able to get their things even if they wanted to!

Actually, I’m just really annoyed that my schedule was disrupted. There’s an OCD part of me that hates it when one of my classes is off. If I teach something in one of my classes then I like to teach it in all of my classes or I’m out of sorts all day.

Remember when life wasn't nuts? (or "I work in Bedlam")

Today was the first day that I’ve had to have my mother and step-father come to drive me home. As a person who suffers from migraines, occasionally in class I get sick and am unable to perform my function as a classroom teacher. This would constitute a medical emergency on my part because I physically can’t keep performing my job.

Today’s fiasco was started by the overhead projector and cornell notes. In case I hadn’t mentioned it before, my room is severely ill-equiped for the education of children. There’s no dry erase board, no usable chalk board, and no overhead projector of any sort (dry erase or for a computer). Actually, there is an overhead projector for a computer but it is currently broken and I have nothing to get it to work with. It’s a system that looks like it’s about 20 years old which is fairly interesting since I didn’t think they had overhead projectors then. Also, the whole apparatus is locked and I can’t figure out how to get into it.

So I solved this problem by using my liberated projector that was I got last year from the collection of materials that was going to be auctioned by our school district. Last year, with about 2 hours notice, I was informed that downtown was going to get rid of a bunch of materials that were not requested by teachers or were old technology. This is absolutely absurd because so many classrooms are in need and could use materials, old or not.

This year, my room is one such example of a classroom in need. The room has nothing usable and I can’t even rearrange the desks to suit my needs. The students are all in desks that look like they’re from a lab circa 1953. I’m so frustrated with screaming my notes to my students and having to repeat myself every 20 seconds that I brought in my projector and set it up with the rickety old screen at the side of my students’ desks. Yes, at the side. All of the students have to swivel their heads 90 degrees to see the screen. Those behind the giant cement pole in the middle of my room don’t have a clear view and have to physically pull their stools out to attempt to see the notes. Let me tell you, this really increases student achievement right there. Some days I feel like I’m being tested by God in this room. if I can teach here and grab their attention, then I suppose I can teach anywhere. OK, there are probably classrooms that are worse, but I don’t care to to think about them.

At any rate, I had to stand in front of the projector with my laptop all day to bring the slides up for notes. The reason why we are doing so many notes in class is because two of my five classes do not have books. That is pleasant. For the rest of the classes, they have a middle school text for a high school Biology class. I’m not amused. So, I stand with my little laptop in front of an extremely bright projector all day. This made little miss teacher have a migraine in 7 hours.

It would not have been so bad if I had been able to leave right after school. Unfortunately, we had our monthly small school meeting. My school is so large that the different buildings are all small schools that have their own programing and slant on education. While it’s true that I love my boss and think the staff at my small school is very nice and attentive, I really could have done with out a meeting on that particular day. I managed to drive home without throwing up but it was a close call. My significant other was not pleased at my state when I literally fell through the door of our home.

Another average day in Bedlam.

ARRRRGGGGGHHHH!!!

After an exhausting week I have learned some things about my new school. I have learned that not just one but two fights can break out in the same classroom in one day. I have learned that it takes time after the summer to develop the muscles that are required to stand for 9 hours a day again. I have learned that without those muscles that I want to cut off my feet and boil them until there’s only bone left. I have learned that I miss my old students and I wish I could see their smiling faces in my room again. So many of them became like an extended family for me during the day. They were my daytime children... or more like my nieces and nephews because I wasn’t able to really discipline them like a parent. I couldn’t hug them like a parent - though I wanted to when they were sad or did really well. I know I probably got too close to them and I hope to do better this year with maintaining my professional distance, but they were such cool and funny people with interesting lives. During the course of this week, I have learned most of all that I am really out of practice but it comes back like riding a bike. I was afraid over the past few weeks that I would not remember how to teach and I’d be terrible.
Also, just for a daily moment of humor - my mother and step-father came to my school to bring me the skeleton that I liberated from my last school. My step-father took the time to clean him and fix him for me and my mother put a tie and baseball cap on him. They got stopped at the gate when they were bringing me my skeleton and the poor guard on duty didn’t know what to do with the two people bringing what appeared to be a dead body seat-belted in their car into my classroom. My mother forgot to mention to said guard that the skeleton was a replica and not real.

Exhaustion... (or... should I go back to research?)

I am totally exhausted. I keep trying to think of wonderful and exciting activities for the kids to get involved with the first few days of school but I really can’t manage to think of anything. I know that I should have thought of this long before the start of school and been lesson planning like a demon to get ahead but I got out of the practice of being diligent. Actually, lesson planning has never bee my greatest skill as a teacher. Yes, I am able to come up with great lessons when I feel like it - but that’s usually not more than a few days in advance of the day that I’m planning on executing them.
Why am I exhausted, you say? Well, it all has something to do with the fact that I’m extremely nervous at having a bunch of new kids on my roster. It’s insane for me to think that I have 200 new names, personalities, and background stories to learn. I’m trying my best to be optimistic about it, but frankly I’m not going anywhere. I don’t have much for classroom discipline right now because they don’t know me or have any investment in my teaching so they don’t care.
Wow, I guess this is now the “other” teachers feel. The teachers to whom I am referring are the ones that I pass in the hall that throw busy work at the students day in and day out. They are the teachers that give out crossword puzzles and worksheets photocopied from a book that doesn’t really apply to what they’re teaching. I know each of them has his or her reasons, but it must be horrible to have classroom discipline when the kids don’t know or respect you. I can’t imagine.
Right now I hate my job because the kids don’t respect me yet. I groan at the thought of getting up and going in for another 10 hours. That was not the case last year at the School of Apathy. Granted, I was exhausted from my teaching load, trying to get everything done on time, and my graduate classes, but I liked being around the students and found it energizing. I hope I can get some of that back and soon.

Welcome Back...?

The students have all come back. By “all,” I mean those that were registered and ready to go for classes. I’m missing quite a few students and I’ve been advised by other teachers in my transition to teaching program that it would be best not to start teaching material until next week. The theory behind that one is that the students will not be caught up and in their correct classes for some time.
However, the chaos of the first few days of classes is NOTHING compared to where I used to work, which will forever after this point be called “School of Apathy.” I have termed it that because the majority of the teachers and administration there were filled with such an overwhelming aura of apathy that I had to limit contact with them lest it infect me, too. The first few days of classes there resulted in such massive pandemonium that I’m frankly surprised that some students made it to class. My first two days of teaching were as a substitute there and I just stood in the hallways and directed the hoards of students that were wandering around the halls lost, confused, or having social hour. It was amazing.
Here, there are not that many students out in the hallways and those students that come late to class generally show up within the first 3 minutes of class starting. I don’t know if it’s the new method that I have to get them on task when they start but it’s amazing to me that the difference between two schools can be so vast. My old school, during the first days of class, had people just wandering around everywhere and taking advantage of the large proportion of bodies in the hallway to skip class. Nothing ever happened to them. At my new school, which I have termed “School of Legion” because of the amount of students there, the kids get thrown out of the hall by our Academic Dean - who thus far seems to be an excellent boss.

Welcome Back and get a kick in the face...

Hello to my adoring public... (insert maniacal laughter here)

Everybody's favorite slightly insane science teacher is back on the warpath... my goal this year is the same as last year - to get some kiddies learn-ed. I'm sure that I'm probably failing in that respect but I know that the students and I are ready and able. Or at least I am. Or at least I'm here.

Some background info for those that are interested: Over the summer I got diagnosed with endometriosis. What's that, you say? It certainly isn't a walk in the park. I'm really irritated because it's going to be interferring with my teaching which is a GIANT no-no in my book. I have to have surgery in the next year to get my body parts back to playing nice with each other. This will be a major surgery and if done during the year then it will cut into my teaching time. I *hate* having subs in my room. The kids walk all over them and everything gets turned into a giant mess. I really don't like being out for a month or so. I'm hoping that I can swing it so that I'll have the surgery as close to the end of the year as possible so it doesn't cut into my teaching schedule. You know what's also a giant bummer with all of this - I'm theoretically finishing my master's degree right at the same time so the surgery couldn't be during a worse part of my life.

This has been impacting my mood for the past month so I've been slightly distracted.

At any rate - here we go. Get your padded rooms and strap jackets ready... it's time for another school year.

Finals - what worked and didn't.

Goal of the Week: Plan curriculum for next year, yo.

Thought of the Day: Finals - what worked and didn't.

I've started thinking back on last year in preparation for this next year. So far, I've been thinking about what did work so I can repeat it and what didn't work so I can never look back. Hear's what I think of the most recent finals past!

Here's my idea of a great way to test student knowledge with students that do not study: posters! OK, many people may not like this because it sounds too infantile but it is SERIOUSLY what I had to do in Grad school.

I think that the students should be able to pick any of the topics that we covered this semester and research it in more depth to create a poster and present it to the class.

They need to learn to create projects on time, neatly, to follow directions to the letter, public speaking (even or especially through fear), independent research, and creativity (for designing and creating their own poster). These are real-life skills that they need to practice.

However, after having the finals week schedule on the board, in bright red marker, for two weeks AND giving them in-class time to work on their posters students are obviously still not ready. In fact - many students are blowing this off. I need to take measures against that next time by showing examples of sucky work and what it gets you.

On a positive note, having different parts due on different days worked so much better than last semester's "due all on one day" approach. Also, going over the rubric with the students helped them know what to do tremendously. I'm now a convert of rubrics and going over them with the students. I toyed around with having the students have one "practice-presentation" to show them how to do better the next day and it was a disaster. The students kept asking me why they were doing the presentation twice and which one was "real." Great idea with horrible execution.

What makes sense to me doesn't always make sense to others. I need to get in more presenting practice but this wasn't the way to do it.

All in all - the ones that are doing the work are mostly doing much better than last time. I credit it totally to them knowing the expectations in advance.